Monday, April 2, 2007

How to escalate the interaction

Lately, my friends and I have been talking a lot about "Sexual Escalation", so I want to talk about that too and hopefully help you guys have a better understanding of it.

I feel like a lot of people understand sexual escalation as literally, "being sexual by what you are saying, and by doing a lot of kino."

Yes, it is very important what you say and, of course, how you say it. And yes, kino is important, but...

What I am saying is that if you like a girl, you should be sexual with her 24/7 from the very first second.

Here comes the key point that many men miss. You have to be in control of your sexuality, and you have to be in control of your sexual needs and desires.

You are in control of your sexuality; sexuality is not in control of your life.
You are in control of your emotions; you don't let your emotions control your life.

That drives women crazy.

So how do you escalate?

You show her all the time that you are very sexual and a sensitive being, but for her to get a taste of it, she needs to earn it.

Look at her in a seductive, sexual way. Be very comfortable with it, but don't even touch her.

It is very important that you hold the tension and that you don't smile. If she smiles, you keep that seductive look and show her that you are seriously thinking of her in a sexual way.

She will be like, “Why is he being so sexual but not doing anything about it?”

You are not doing anything because you are in control of yourself, and she will want to break that because she is not used to seeing a man like that. That, right there, is going to make her get closer to you and be sexual with you back.

If she is a very confident woman (the one that you want to be with, anyway) she will not try to break it. She will just feel comfortable around you so she can allow herself to be herself with you and to be sexual with you, too.

You want to have sex. You love to have sex, but you understand that sex is something very beautiful, intimate, and sacred.

For you, sex is not just sticking it inside of an object.

You understand that sex is about two people getting together to enjoy the beauty of each other, and sex is the way they celebrate the joy of each other.

So even though you want to have sex, you want to find someone that is worth your time, someone that is worthy of sharing that beauty with you.

Someone that is up to your standards!

So you are not going “all the way” because you are looking for the beauty inside of her. You might find it, you might not. No, until you find something that is special about her, you will not give her any more than a friendly hug. It goes back to the post, ”it is all about her”.

I don't want to make things dramatic, you can find a lot of things that you like in a woman in a matter of seconds, but for you to go all the way, you need more than that.

Then let's say you are very close to her physically. You have your arm around her because you found something special about her.

Then you can get very close to her lips and tell her “I really want to kiss you right now, you are so sexy and beautiful but I need to get to know you better first and I am not sure if you are ready for it.” Of course, you do not kiss her.

Again, that shows that you are in control of yourself and you will not let your emotions control your life, the same way you don't punch every person in the face that makes you angry.

Here comes a part that is hard to explain. You tell her, “I am not sure if you are ready for it”, only if she is really not ready for it.

What do I mean by this?

You don't want her to just open her legs for you, she might be ready for that.
You want her to cum for you like she has for no one else because that is what makes you feel like a man.

Is there anything more rewarding in life than for a man to elicit powerful desires, passions and responsiveness from a woman? If there is, I don't know of it.

For a woman to share her orgasm with you, she must trust you. If she does not trust you, she is not yet ready for your kiss.

If she is ready and you tell her, then you will blow it.

When I say I don't want her to just open her legs for me, I mean if she will not allow herself to have an orgasm, then how is that fun for me?

Sex is a dance that takes two people. If only one is dancing, or one is only in it half ass, what is the fun in that?

So this is how you escalate: by being in control of the interaction.

I see men approach and approach women, and the first one that opens to them is the one they go for.

This is not being in control.

Women are so used to controlling the interaction and that is so boring to them. They hate that.

If a woman gets horny, she knows that all she needs to do is put some sexy outfit on, go to the first bar she sees, and she will get what she wants because she knows men are not in control.

So when you show her that you are in control, it will drive her crazy and it will make her want you more.

The more she sees that you are in control, the more she will want you.

You could be very sexual, and you could be doing a lot of kino, and talk a lot about sex. Or you could just be sexual by simply looking at her in “that” way. You are not drooling all over her like you have never seen a woman before.

There is a lot to talk about, but I hope this will give you an idea of what it truly means to escalate, and if you do want to know more about how to escalate the interaction go get my Foreplay Podcasts right now:

  • "Foreplay: Advanced Techniques"

  • "Foreplay: The Basics"